Big Fat Men

By Clarence George on May 24, 2013
Big Fat Men
As Kasper Gutman said in The Maltese Falcon: "The best goodbyes are short." (Top Rank)

The best of the Mexican heavies, 23-year-old Ruiz made his pro debut in 2009 at almost 300 pounds, following an impressive amateur career…

“I like big fat men like you.”—Tuco Ramirez

Like Tuco Ramirez, “The Ugly” of The Good, the Bad and the Ugly, I like big fat men. Okay, that didn’t come out right. I like big fat men who know how to throw leather to the body. A guy like Andy Ruiz Jr., a truck who put a body shot into Luke Vaughn, putting him down in the first and taking him out for the count.

The best of the Mexican heavies, 23-year-old Ruiz (18-0, 12 KOs) made his pro debut in 2009 at almost 300 pounds, following an impressive amateur career. He won 105 of 110 and was twice Mexico’s national amateur champion.

“The Destroyer” had four fights in 2012, beating Homero Fonseca by unanimous decision in March, and stopping Jonte Willis by eighth-round TKO in July, Maurenzo Smith by first-round KO in September, and Elijah McCall by third-round TKO in December.

Ruiz has already had one fight this year, stopping Matthew Greer by first-round KO in March, with two upcoming. He’s facing Carl Davis in a scheduled eight-rounder at the Hard Rock Hotel and Casino in Las Vegas on June 8 and Joe Hanks in a 10-rounder at the Venetian Casino and Resort in Macao on July 27.

Thirty-nine-year-old Davis (16-5, 12 KOs) turned pro 10 years ago. “Iron Fist” fought twice in 2012, stopping Bert Cooper by second-round TKO in September and losing to fat but limited Richard Carmack by first-round TKO in November.

Hanks, 30 (21-0, 14 KOs), has been a pro since 2007. “The Future” fought three times last year, stopping Rafael Pedro by second-round TKO in February and Marcus Rhode by first-round TKO in April, and beating the hapless Maurenzo by unanimous decision in December.

While Ruiz will have no trouble with Davis, Hanks may prove more competitive. May, but won’t—I’m predicting early-stoppage wins for the abundante Andres. As quintessential fat man Kasper Gutman said in The Maltese Falcon: “The best goodbyes are short.”

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Andy Ruiz Jr. VS Matthew Greer

Andy Ruiz Jr vs Ken Frank 17/09/11

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  1. Ted 05:47am, 05/27/2013

    “weisswurst and sauerkraut”—ugh. You can do better Meinhard.

  2. Clarence George 12:43pm, 05/26/2013

    Indeed, Mike:  A magic-casting, midnight-haired minx, if ever there was one.

  3. Mike Casey 12:09pm, 05/26/2013

    Yes, my friend, I can see why you need to persist with this quest!!

  4. Clarence George 09:45am, 05/26/2013

    Ha!  Now, Mike, you know perfectly well that I’ve written many (all right, a few) articles that have been devoid of temptresses.

    Speaking of which, the reward has yet to be claimed for identifying the pulchritudinous creature who graced the inauguration of the NYSBHOF last year, hosted by Ring 8.  I seem to have exhausted my resources.  I spoke today with my friend, and fellow boxing writer, Pete Pharaoh, who had the good fortune of having his photo taken with the lovely in question…he claims ignorance.  But I have not exhausted my resourcefulness!  I shall not rest until I find a way to write about (and preferably to) this Circe.  I supply another photo:

  5. Mike Casey 08:38am, 05/26/2013

    I could live with 550lb heavyweights if just one of them could fight with the passion of a Grizzly Bear. Incidentally, Clarence, I worry about you when you don’t drop a ravishing siren into the script. Are you eating your greens?

  6. Clarence George 03:50am, 05/26/2013

    Yo, Irish:  This will get your blood pumping:

  7. Clarence George 06:18pm, 05/25/2013

    He’s like a fat Amir Khan, at least in terms of quickness of hand.

  8. Eric 02:59pm, 05/25/2013

    Pretty impressive hand speed and power. Need to see how he fares against better opposition and maybe drop a few pounds.

  9. Ted 12:11pm, 05/25/2013

    profundo disgusto

  10. tuxtucis 12:08pm, 05/25/2013

    Frank Finnegan weighed 464 lbs…
    Samuel Panetu was estimated 550 lbs…

  11. Ted 11:47am, 05/25/2013

    When The Bean fought Joe Siciliano, there was over750 pounds of slab in that ring. The Bean weighed over 400.

  12. Clarence George 09:13am, 05/25/2013

    Irish:  The good news, from your perspective, is that hourglass-figure girls tend to become pretty zaftig.  This was particularly true of Anita Ekberg.  I recently chatted up a young lady who looked very much like a pleasingly plump Esther Williams.

    Minor correction:  Henny lived in my building; Rocky lived next door.

    Eric:  Hard to believe, isn’t it, that Ruiz does four-mile roadwork?  But I guess he does—he no longer weighs 300.

  13. Eric 07:58am, 05/25/2013

    I’ve always wondered how do these “big guys” like this maintain their physiques with all the rigors of boxing training. No matter their outward appearance they still have had to put in some serious gym time and roadwork to have the stamina to box 8-10 rounds. Even if when the fighters are grabbing and holding each other for 10 rounds, it still takes a great deal of stamina. I remember back in the day when they would call fighters like Tony Ayala or even a pudgy Duran “fat.” Sheeeesh, some fighters of today are borderline Chris Farley (rip) like.

  14. Irish Frankie Crawford Beat Saijo aka Gimpel 07:47am, 05/25/2013

    Clarence George—To each his own….for my part I’m partial to plus size, ultra zaftig babes. Which reminds me…when you said that Henny Youngman and Rocky Graziano had lived in your building you couldn’t have impressed me more if you said that Henry Kissinger resided there as well. In my slightly off kilter world view ( though I’d bet not too different from some of the old time boxing fans who visit this great site), these two individuals are very important historical figures.

  15. Clarence George 07:43am, 05/25/2013

    Herr Schmidt:  Of Hungarian descent, I grew up in Yorkville, which had been the German section of Manhattan.  Close by were the Hungarian and Czech neighborhoods.  My kind kind of cuisine, I can tell you.  Sad to say, it’s all almost completely gone.  Fortunately, there’s the Hallo Berlin food cart on 54th and Fifth, where one can obtain Weisswurst and similar delicacies.

  16. Meinhard Schmidt 06:46am, 05/25/2013

    “i like big fat men” - finally i will have approach to your writing, i thought it was the fact i only learned english in highschool that until now i had a hard time understanding your work. Thank you and my best regards from the land of weisswurst and sauerkraut ;-)

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