Fistic Freudian Delight

By Robert Ecksel on September 25, 2017
Fistic Freudian Delight
“I now propose a match for those who may be clinically insane or slightly maladjusted.”

“You think McGregor and Mayweather hype was over the top? Imagine me and my ‘Gypsy Brother’ Tyson going jaw to jaw…”

Just when you thought it was safe to start loving the heavyweights again, along comes Joseph Parker and Huey Fury, followed by Brooklyn’s Shannon Briggs.

Having failed a recent pre-fight drug test, upending an unlikely and unwelcome return to contention, many hoped they might have seen the last of the former champion.

What were they thinking?

It’s not over till it’s over, so Briggs has reached out to Tyson Fury, a former heavyweight champion of more recent vintage, on Instagram in hopes of encouraging the big man to stop eating long enough to consider a fight.

“Where y’all train at?” Briggs asked Fury. “I wanna talk about a fight for the ages. Two big sicko’s [sic] going at it. The comeback of comebacks.”

Briggs plays the media the way Eric Clapton plays guitar. He is dexterous but repetitive.

The same is true of Tyson Fury.

Briggs also sent Fury an open letter, in which he sounds somewhat agitated.

“I was reading Frank Warren’s online column today,” Briggs said, “and the veteran promoter struck a nerve with his stance on the unfair treatment former world champ and colorful character Tyson Fury is getting from UK boxing authorities. Now doing the Limbo can be an amusing dance but living in Limbo, a boxing purgatory is no fun at all. Being prevented from making a living is odious and that is why I now propose a match for those who may be clinically insane or slightly maladjusted.”

A match for the Clinically Insane or Slightly Maladjusted is what the world needs now. But if I was the lucky recipient of this feverish missive, I’d protect myself at all times.

But I’m not Tyson Fury. Neither is Shannon Briggs. So who knows how the big man will react?

Briggs continued, “You think McGregor and Mayweather hype was over the top? Imagine me and my ‘Gypsy Brother’ Tyson going jaw to jaw. The only thing better than the prefight circus would be the in ring war we would engage in, two former world heavyweight champions who remain armed and dangerous.”

It’s not easy to take Briggs seriously, but serious he is.

“I may be mad but I’m also as serious as can be,” he said. ”Briggs-Fury or Fury-Briggs, you would need psychiatrists more than you would judges.”

Any fight that advertises itself as needing “psychiatrists more than you would judges” is a fight I may need to see.

Clarifying his status vis-à-vis the suspension for PEDs, Briggs told Fury he’s up for a “dream fight” of this magnitude.

“I’ve been in boxing legal Limbo myself, but come December I am off suspension and ready to rumble.”

Briggs also tried his hand at flattery.

“I come with the greatest of respect for the entire Fury Clan,” he said, “solid boxing guys all of them, and I have a huge UK fan base.

“Both Tyson and I can talk the talk and fight the fight.

“I say, let’s make it happen.”

Will it happen? Who knows?

Will it happen? Who cares?

“There is no yellow streak on Tyson’s back nor on mine,” he added. “Know what I mean Hayefaker?

“This is a great matchup, a Fistic Freudian delight.

“Have gloves, will travel.

“Tyson needs an opponent and I’m his huckleberry.

“LET’S GO CHAMP.”

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