Holding Out for a Hero
The Argentine destroyed a surprisingly ineffectual Lamont Peterson by third-round TKO on May 18. And he’s hardly a one-win wonder…
He’s gotta be strong
And he’s gotta be fast
And he’s gotta be fresh from the fight
Hey, Bonnie Tyler, I have just the “street-wise Hercules” you’re looking for: Lucas Matthysse. An Atlas? No. Not even a Charles Atlas. He’s a junior welter and only weighs 140 pounds. But he’s the hardest-hitting boxer in the world, and he meets your criteria of being strong, fast, and if he isn’t fresh from the fight I don’t know who is.
The Argentine destroyed a surprisingly ineffectual Lamont Peterson by third-round TKO on May 18. Fresh enough for you? And he’s hardly a one-win wonder. A pro since 2004, the 30-year-old has won 34 of his 37 fights, 32 by knockout. His two highly controversial losses came via split decision at the hands of Zab Judah and Devon Alexander in, respectively, 2010 and 2011. “El Machina” had one no-contest, against Rogelio Castaneda Jr. in 2008, but he wiped that slate clean by stopping Castaneda by first-round KO two years later.
How’s your heart rate, Bonnie? Smelling salts are available, so let’s continue. The tattooed Latin fought three times last year, retiring Angel Martinez in the sixth in February and Humberto Soto in the fifth in June, and stopping Ajose Olusegun by 10th-round TKO in September. Matthysse has already had two fights this year. In addition to what he did to Peterson, he stopped Mike Dallas Jr. by first-round KO in January.
Kindly place that spaghetti strap back on your shoulder, Bonnie. Jeez, you Welsh girls. Besides, I thought you were looking for a hero. I don’t fit the mold. I’m too, well, let’s say burly. What you’re looking for is someone leaner…and about 70 pounds lighter. Well, yes, I am pretty strong—I can crush polystyrene with the best of them—but I’m not particularly fast and to say that I’m fresh from the fight would demonstrate a marked lack of understanding of the word “fresh.”
Perhaps this will focus your attention where it belongs: Everyone wants Matthysse to take on Danny Garcia. What? No, not the music-video director. And I’m not talking about the second baseman or outfielder either.
His nickname’s “Swift” and…no, that’s not to what it refers! His nickname’s “Swift”, he’s 26, and has been a pro since 2007. He’s undefeated, and has won 16 of his 26 fights by knockout. His most recent bout was in April, when he beat Judah by unanimous decision. He fought three times last year, decisioning Erik Morales in March, stopping Amir Khan by fourth-round TKO in July, and kayoing Morales in the fourth in October. He’s the WBC, WBA, and Ring champ. He was born and lives in Philadelphia…yes, like the cream cheese…and is of Puerto Rican descent.
No slouch, obviously. But Matthysse is confident: “I hope the fight happens,” he says. “But he’s a slow fighter. He’s slow and wide open. I know I’ll win that fight as well.”
So, Bonnie, have I sold you on Matthysse? Um, no, he doesn’t look like Sean Connery in Darby O’Gill and the Little People. I’ve gone over your lyrics—your criteria—with a fine-tooth comb: “fight the rising odds…white knight upon a fiery steed…he’s gotta be sure…larger than life…racing on the thunder…rising with the heat…superman…” Nope, not a word about being good looking. Besides, are you sure he’s in that movie? Well, perhaps, but Janet Munro most certainly is. What a tasty delight, to be sure. Have you seen her eyes? They’re pools. Ah, to be a merman and…ahem.
If you’re still not convinced, you’ll just have to wait till September. That’s when the fight will happen…if it does. The good news is that you’ll have both time and opportunity to “feel his approach like the fire in your blood.”
Hmmm? What do you mean you can’t wait? It’s only four months. Yes, I do see that “it’s gotta be soon.”
Get that strap back on that shoulder!