“I’m Adrien’s Fiancé”

By Robert Ecksel on December 18, 2013
“I’m Adrien’s Fiancé”
Adrien Broner shrugged his shoulders. It was endearing. It was almost philosophical.

She asked, “Is this seat taken?” and sat beside me. She was a fox. She smelled like a bed of roses. She had tattoos on her feet…

I was first row ringside at the Alamodome. I wasn’t with the press. I was with Michael Schmidt. El Bastardo Magnifico travels first-class. Hence the good seat. Hence the good view. Hence the good company.

But we were crammed together like sardines in a can. Shoulder to shoulder, leg to leg, I was glad Broner’s father wasn’t beside me. Schmidty the Thin Man was to my right. For much of the undercard, the seat to my left was empty.

The televised portion of the card was about to begin when a goddess appeared. She was young. She wore six-inch heels. She was dressed to the nines. Black on black from the top her head to the tips of her toes, she was fecund like Dorothy Dandridge, a wide-eyed innocent like teenage Diana Ross.

She asked, “Is this seat taken?” and sat beside me.

She was a fox. She smelled like a bed of roses. She had tattoos on her feet.

I didn’t pay her much mind. A fight was a few yards away. She could have smelled like freshly baked bread or a hot house full of orchids. No matter. She was competing with the fights.

But she was gorgeous, too gorgeous to ignore. I glanced at her between rounds. She noticed but didn’t look up. She was staring at her smartphone.

I focused on the phone in her hand. I had to know what was so compelling.

It was herself. She was looking at photos of herself.

She didn’t see Shumenov starch Kovacs. She ignored the war between Santa Cruz and Cesar Seda. She missed the rise of Keith Thurman and fall of Soto Karass.

She was busy, staring at photos of herself, staring at photos of herself with Adrien Broner.

She caught me looking over her shoulder.

“I’m Adrien’s fiancé,” she said. Her voice was sweet like maple syrup, rich like blackstrap molasses.

I said nothing but thought “Congratulations.”

When Broner approached the ring she put away her phone. She got to her feet and remained standing. It looked like she’d never been to a fight before.

At the opening bell she shouted, “Let’s go babe.”

When Maidana floored Broner in round two, I heard her ask, “What is he doing?”

At some point during the fight, Broner glanced at his fiancé. He looked puzzled and shrugged his shoulders. It was endearing. It was almost philosophical.

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  1. White Tornado 08:45am, 12/21/2013

    as far as Boner and I say Boner not Broner… he has made the sport into a circus with filth… I worked for Sam Silverman back in the 70ies when Sam was old and more patient, but he would not ever have put up with this era of clowns… first he would not pay him… and back then… all was a handshake deal… and he would consider boner breaking that… next all because of boner’s lack of sportsmanship… no one would ever let the clown on a card again ever… just like this usa is going to hell in a handbag… so is the sport… I blame it on the soft ass American’s… as did the Romans we will fall or harden up to this type of actions… below is what I will do when this happen to our sport… or lets say as it is predicted>>>                                                         

    THE WHITE TORNADO

    Prediction made 1972 by
    John Hart
    Boxing Illustrated Magazine

    April 1972
    FANS’ FORUM: - Guest Editor,
    John Hart, New Hope, Pa.
    Although I do not expect anyone
    to believe me, I have E.S.P. (Extra
    Sensory Perception) powers.  I ask only
    that you remember this article for the
    next few years and see if I am not
    correct in what I am about to reveal to
    you…I am a 20-year-old hippie and I
    have been a boxing fan for only two
    years.  My E.S.P. powers are seldom
    wrong.  I am now stating that the
    1970s will bring forth a wonder fighter
    the likes of whom boxing has never
    seen before, nor will ever see again.  He
    will be acclaimed as the greatest gloved
    gladiator of all time.  He will be an East
    Coast   born,      white,    borderline
    heavyweight of around 180 to 185
    pounds.  He will destroy all who stand
    in his path.  His major asset will be the
    ability to withstand a powerful punch
    on the chin with absolutely no ill
    effects.  His opponents will cringe in
    fear before the “animal” that faces
    them, one that they can’t hurt and one
    whose blows are so deadly swift that
    they will not be able to evade them.
    His punches will be of fearful
    force.  This fantastic fighter will not
    be a kid fighting his way through
    college or a former amateur star
    turn pro.  Instead he will be a former
    convict…Many fans and commissions
    will be turned off by him because of
    this.  Nonetheless, boxing will produce
    its richest era from him.  This will not
    be another “White Hope” era, but the
    reverse, a “Black Hope” era.  The
    “White Tornado” will become the
    most hated hitter in history.
    I can not now focus clearly on the
    1980s but what I do see of boxing’s
    future is that this boxer will be the
    greatest ever born…His memory will
    live on and with it the fight game will
    thrive for many prosperous
    years.

  2. Mitch 08:30am, 12/21/2013

    This is clear. The chick is in it for the money. Not caring about any fight then when dude shows up all of a sudden she’s interested in boxing. Please. Gold digger.

  3. michael 08:18pm, 12/20/2013

    Love Robert’s work, cool guy, just thought i was missing something

  4. George Thomas Clark 08:14pm, 12/20/2013

    Perhaps the author of the column is indicating that she’s already with child, and perhaps twins or triplets…

  5. George Thomas Clark 08:12pm, 12/20/2013

    According to Google, if she’s hot enough she can be fecund -
    fe·cund
    ˈfekənd,ˈfē-/
    adjective
    adjective: fecund

      1.  producing or capable of producing an abundance of offspring or new growth; fertile.

  6. michael 08:07pm, 12/20/2013

    Fecund? for a person? lol

  7. peter 03:50pm, 12/20/2013

    She sounds LeRoy-Neiman worthy.

  8. Don from Prov 07:57am, 12/20/2013

    Isn’t she the lucky young woman, what with being with Broner and all.

  9. EBM 02:15pm, 12/18/2013

    All true with one item—our Fearless Editor was groaning during the whole fight. Now what that was all about I do not know but he was sitting beside her. It sounded something no doubt like the sound when the Cowboy gave it to Dempsey south of the Rio Grande so to speak. Robert feel free to enter your own shoulder roll groan defence but that is the way I recall the audio that night.

  10. George Thomas Clark 01:54pm, 12/18/2013

    Alamo sources reveal that after the lass arrived Robert and Magnifico began praising Broner, cheered for him during the fight, groaned when he was knocked down, and ultimately consoled her with embraces and guarantees The Problem had been robbed.  She’ll be angry after I send her a link to the fight story.

  11. El Bastardo 01:33pm, 12/18/2013

    She stuck around for the decision and a little longer than the Ex Champ Broner did post fight. She then was waiting in the back arena hallway with her father (who sat to her immediate left during the fights) to see Mr Broner post fight. I know this as I went to say hello one last time to the three booty shorted Corona girls with the 8 ounce gloves and the..ah shit that’s enough info here!!!

  12. Pete The Sneak 10:12am, 12/18/2013

    Debbie Gibson, ay?  From his description, sounds like Debbie may be a runner up to grace El Bastardo Magnifico’s not yet designed boxing T-Shirt. Just a couple of questions for Robert/EBM: Did she stick around for the entire 12 rounds, and if so, what was her reaction when the decsion was announced?. Did she rush out (barefoot) trying to catch her fiance’ (yeah Clarence, I said Fiance’..lol) as Broner himself jetted out of the arena after the decision was announced? And lastly Robert, can you give us the scoop as to what those pics of herself she kept looking at consisted of? I’ll leave it to your imagination as to what that means. All in all, sounded like an incredible night indeed…Peace.

  13. Mohummad Humza Elahi 09:29am, 12/18/2013

    Sounds like a great night at the boxing!  It is true, I think that fighters probably get the best looking girls.  Rachael Cordingley (Carl Froch’s other half) could take the cake on the UK side.  And Shane Mosley’s other half would probably take the cake Stateside.  And ringside seats? Classy.

  14. EBM 09:19am, 12/18/2013

    Lotta Lupe and Pam Grier, it was finnnnne, yes as finnnnnne as winnnnnne!!!

  15. Clarence George 09:15am, 12/18/2013

    The only one missing, EBM, was Lupe Velez, though I’m sure she was there in spirit.

  16. Clarence George 09:12am, 12/18/2013

    I think Robert provides a clever clue as to why he didn’t kidnap the tattooed-feet trixie.  Mayhap he suspected that she was a girl with, ahem,  something extra.  Hence the use of “fiancé” instead of “fiancée.”  Aha!

  17. EBM 09:03am, 12/18/2013

    My focus Clarence was on Debbie Gibson, seated behind us…very tall, long fantastic blond hair, and hell is she hot for early 40’s. And she very much enjoyed, and I am serious here, the night of boxing with her boyfriend who looked like Sir Richard Branson—lucky bastard (being with Debbie that is!!)

  18. El Bastardo Magnifico 09:00am, 12/18/2013

    One last observation because I have a sneak and a sneaking thought that a Sneak and a Sir Clarence may jump on this point…The reason our fearless Editor saw the tat on the feet…..nahhhh not a chance boys….she took her shoes off and kept them off for the whole fight…some subliminal message due to Robert being beside her?....who the fuck would know.

  19. Clarence George 08:55am, 12/18/2013

    Robert should have slung the high-heeled hussy over his shoulder, making a beeline for the nearest exit, while Mike ran interference.

    Anyway, more evidence (as though any were required) in support of my contention that boxing without beauties is like pastrami without mustard.

  20. El Bastardo Magnifico 08:52am, 12/18/2013

    PS to answer her question, in hindsight, which in this case, like many boxing cases is a good thing, “what is he doing?”... well to quote some guy on boxing.com, not to mention names, Robert, he was “getting his ass kicked.!!!!”

  21. El Bastardo Magnifico 08:47am, 12/18/2013

    Fantastic!!! I couldn’t have said it any better cause I couldn’t have said it!!!! You nailed it (the article that is). By the way who was the good company you were with!!! Just asking. My heavens she was sweet though was she not. And that glimpse Fighter Broner gave her…yes you got that perfectly. You are a talented bastard Robert…by the by when you went for a smoke between fights I squeezed into your ringside position—yes things were tight and I enjoyed every damn moment of the proximity to the ring!!!!!!

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