Is David Haye a “Pre-Madonna?”

By Robert Ecksel on September 26, 2013
Is David Haye a “Pre-Madonna?”
Was Tyson Fury alluding to pre-Christianity, a time when godless heathens wrote the rules?

Literacy has gone the way of the steam engine. What passes for education is often little more that a resuscitation of bullet points. With TV as most people’s professor-in-chief, is it any surprise that cavemen rule the world?

Forgive the above, but a press release covering Tyson Fury’s latest bit of trash talk caught my ever-so-vigilant eye. After expressing his pleasure that the fight with David Haye had been rescheduled, Fury let loose on his opponent.

“In my opinion,” said Fury, “he’s a classless pre-madonna, a diva, a no good wannabe Bollywood actor and I can’t wait to put him in his place.”

Many of us would like to put Haye in his place, but calling him a “pre-madonna,” at least as written, might not be the best way to go about it.

Some websites reacted with glee at Fury’s clever choice of words. Other websites, websites geared toward readers with IQs in the triple digits, recognize the description for what it is: bad grammar, bad spelling, bad thinking, and maybe even bad karma.

But after carefully studying the “pre-madonna” remark, with the Cambridge Dictionary and Roget’s Thesaurus denting my lap, I’ve concluded that Fury didn’t call Haye a “pre-madonna.” He called him a “prima donna.” At least I think he did.

But what if I am wrong?

Is it possible that Fury was alluding to pre-Christianity, a time when godless heathens wrote the rules? However ludicrous that sounds, there may be more depth to Fury than he has let on.

Another possibility is that his “pre-madonna” gibe relates to the middle-aged pop singer. I’m not sure what preceded that Madonna, but it sure as hell wasn’t Miley Cyrus.

As usual I’m looking for clarity, and as usual it’s hard to come by. If anyone can add anything to the enigma wrapped in a riddle that is the above, don’t hold your tongue, or any other body part if it can be avoided.

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  1. justin town 05:58am, 12/13/2013

    bad grammar (nope), bad spelling (correct), bad thinking (nope), and maybe even bad karma (not a chance)... It was a misspelling but the shoe does fit. Haye is indeed a prima donna: “the term “prima donna” has come into common usage in any field denoting someone who behaves in a demanding, often temperamental fashion, revealing an inflated view of themselves, their talent, and their importance.”...sounds about right.

  2. Leigh 12:04pm, 09/28/2013

    Unfortunately having the nickname haymaker leaves you open to a great deal of parody as mr fury has pointed out eg: Toemaker, hypemaker, excuse maker ,just to name a few .

  3. Clarence George 01:39pm, 09/27/2013

    By the way, my brother, the linguist, theorizes that Fury recently went to a restaurant that offered a “pre-fixe” rather than a “prix fixe” menu, and was unduly influenced while perhaps under the influence.  Possible.  Yes, possible.

  4. Clarence George 01:29pm, 09/27/2013

    I did a little research (which tells you how full my life is), and discovered that “Pre-Madonna” was picked up by all sorts of news services—e.g., the “Mirror”—none of which have changed it to “Prima Donna” (nor have they commented on the illiteracy, but that’s another matter).  So why did ESB?  To cover their own ass?  Why?  It’s what was written in the press release.  To cover Fury’s?  Why the hell should they?  As mysterious as the Wallace case.  Well, not quite.

    “The Wallace case is the nonpareil of all murder mysteries…  I call it the impossible murder because Wallace couldn’t have done it, and neither could anyone else…  The Wallace case is unbeatable; it will always be unbeatable.”—Raymond Chandler

    By the way, Mike:  I found your comment most amusing.

  5. Mike Casey 09:43am, 09/27/2013

    I’m too busy twerking to get into all that.

  6. Mike Casey 08:13am, 09/27/2013

    My sources tell me that Haye was readying a reply to this but hurt his finger whilst texting and emitted an angry cry of, “Oh I say, what jolly bad luck.”

  7. Robert Ecksel 05:35am, 09/27/2013

    I noticed that. And they’re not alone. Someone has to pay attention for them. I only wish it were someone other than me.

  8. Clarence George 04:58am, 09/27/2013

    This is rather Orwellian.  ESB’s headline of yesterday referred to “Pre-Madonna,” but has been changed today to “Prima Donna.”  Hmmm.

  9. raxman 03:57pm, 09/26/2013

    that’s just classic Gen Y.

  10. Clarence George 02:16pm, 09/26/2013

    Spare my blushes, Robert!

  11. FrankinDallas 02:10pm, 09/26/2013

    It is pre-dicted that Haye is pre-destined to knock Fury into Bolivian.

  12. Robert Ecksel 02:00pm, 09/26/2013

    Thank you Clarence. I thought there might be more to Tyson Fury than meets the eye, that the big galumph act was just that, an act. And thanks to your research, no less than to your unassailable logic, you’ve gone and proved it.

  13. Clarence George 01:49pm, 09/26/2013

    Per your request, Robert, I won’t hold my tongue (as for another body part…not even my butcher-boy hands are big enough for that).

    The Madonna, the Mother of God, was foreshadowed by several Old Testament women—e.g., Esther.  What characteristic did these women have in common, in addition to being female?  They were Jews.  Thus, Fury is calling Haye a Jewess.  Absurd, you say?  So it would seem, but only to the untrained eye.

    According to the teachings of the Catskills School of Theology, a Jewess is usually a yenta.  And what is a yenta?  A termagant.  A woman not only quarrelsome, but perhaps violent, who slaps and scratches. 

    It’s beginning to dawn, isn’t it?  Yes, Fury has gone the long (and unexpectedly Biblical) way around to say that Haye…fights like a girl!

    My logic, as usual, is unassailable, deserving of the most fulsome approbation.

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