Loren vs. Mansfield

By George Thomas Clark on May 29, 2014
Loren vs. Mansfield
Loren missed the right this time but followed with a left hook to Mansfield’s right breast.


By delightful coincidence I was dining in elegant Romanoff’s restaurant in Beverly Hills that 1957 night when young and ravishing Sophia Loren entered, accompanied by several movie executives who, once seated, gazed across satin tablecloth and widened omnipresent smiles, laughing at her every utterance. I understand their behavior for I was equally captivated by the recently obscure Italian actress who had just completed filming The Pride and the Passion, costarring Frank Sinatra and Cary Grant. The dashing Grant, renowned for personal charm as well as versatile acting, had become badly smitten by Loren. Had she reciprocated? She had, for awhile, but to what degree? That detail was utterly private but nonetheless obsessed movie aficionados and, much to our consternation, remains a secret experience between the two.

Cary Grant, at any rate, was assigned a seat far away from Sophia Loren, and some devious creature had placed peroxide Jayne Mansfield next to her. I vividly recall Miss Loren’s sleeveless black dress matched her hair and was low cut and suggestively held up by a mere thin white strap reaching around her neck, and Mansfield’s light dress had no cut at all above the solar plexus and was overwhelmed by breasts, augmented or not, that could’ve sufficiently stacked three women. Loren, a woman of quite impressive cleavage, was not, in my opinion, jealous of Mansfield but grew displeased by the tawdry efforts of a carnival actress to deflect attention from her recent dramatic achievements.

Each time Mansfield giggled and made frivolous statements such as, “Glad we have warm weather around here or I’d freeze,” Loren’s features tightened. I’ve never seen anyone anxious as Mansfield to rise from her seat and loudly greet people. And after they were seated, she placed both hands on their chair backs or the table and flaunted her breasts. Loren looked alternately shocked, perturbed, and nervous, and was unsure how to respond until Mansfield virtually thrust her left nipple, which the scanty dress had been designed to release, into the large and sensuous mouth of Loren, who grabbed the offensive gland, squeezed while jumping up, and said, “Get that away from me.”

Mansfield cocked her right hand grabbed by a waiter. “Let’s step outside, bitch,” she said.

“Ladies, please,” said Mike Romanoff, hustling over. “We can’t have you fighting, at least not bare-knuckled and outside.” 

The restaurateur winked at a waiter who disappeared into the kitchen and promptly returned with two pairs of large boxing gloves. “Sixteen ounces each, ladies, veritable pillows, couldn’t hurt each other if you wanted,” he said, grinning like a tuxedoed juvenile delinquent. 

Sophia Loren, staring at Mansfield, held up first her left and then her right hand, allowing Romanoff to lace her up, and he then performed the same service for Mansfield. He and his employees pushed tables against walls and formed a human square about the size of a ring. The guests rushed to good vantage points. 

“All right, fight,” said Romanoff.

Mansfield, like an ox, charged Loren, who as an adolescent on the wartime streets of Pozzuoli had several times fought girls for scraps of food and once broken the nose of a rambunctious boy. Mansfield hadn’t known but immediately learned she yielded experience as Loren fired a jab into her nose and followed with a roundhouse right that rang the blonde’s ear. Stepping back to recover, Mansfield howled and attacked again and Loren caught her with another jab. She missed the right this time but followed with a left hook to Mansfield’s right breast and then a right to her left, and this formula she sustained until the temptress, now topless and bruised, ran into a corner, cradled her breasts, and shouted, “That’s worse than a low blow.”

George Thomas Clark is the author of several books, most recently Death in the Ring, a collection of boxing stories, and The Bold Investor, a short story collection. See the author’s website at www.GeorgeThomasClark.com.

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  1. Mike Silver 02:02pm, 06/10/2014

    I meant to say bless you GTC!

  2. Mike Silver 10:04pm, 06/09/2014

    Bless you C.G.

  3. Clarence George 03:24am, 06/09/2014

    Ask and ye shall receive, Mike:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d4nc5GXC0Is

  4. Mike Silver 10:08pm, 06/08/2014

    Where is the movie clip of “Boy On A Dolphin” with that incredible wet tee shirt seen with Sophia! Unbelievable!

  5. Dirk Diggler 07:40am, 05/31/2014

    Vanessa Del Rio vs. Dolores Del Rio?

  6. Clarence George 07:21pm, 05/30/2014

    Sofia Vergara.  Now that would be a pillow fight.

  7. Thresher 07:10pm, 05/30/2014

    She was a troubled soul indeed. Often arrested but nothing ever stuck.

    That said, we need to return to the issue at hand. Mansfield vs Loren and it appears Loren wins easily. What’s the next bout? Selma Hayek vs. who?

  8. Clarence George 07:01pm, 05/30/2014

    Funny that Joey never married again, and she needed someone to look after her more than most.

  9. Thresher 06:58pm, 05/30/2014

    Bambi!

  10. Vinny Vega$ 06:47pm, 05/30/2014

    Ooops. My bad. We’ll trade off Rentzel for Lance Alworth. I was just making the connection with Heatherton. Definitely don’t need a predator/exposer or whatever you would call him like Rentzel around. My apologies for mentioning that creep.

  11. thresher 06:25pm, 05/30/2014

    hahahahahahahah!

  12. Clarence George 05:50pm, 05/30/2014

    Dolores was stunning, but nowhere near as fiery as Lupe.  As for Lance Rentzel…I doubt he’d take the job unless Ann-Margret and wife Joey agreed to appear in pigtails.

  13. Thresher 04:08pm, 05/30/2014

    Enjoy http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S8az7k0Bg7A

  14. Vinny Vega$ 02:41pm, 05/30/2014

    Ann Margaret vs. Joey Heatherton with Lance Rentzel as the special guest referee, and Broadway Joe handling the mic duties.

  15. Clarence George 12:20pm, 05/30/2014

    I certainly agree, gents, that the aptly nicknamed “Mexican Spitfire” would be more than a match for even the spiciest of Italians (and, believe me, I know just how spicy they can be).  I’d like to see her matched against Zsa Zsa, however (there’s your next installment, GTC).  My grandfather, who had an eye and then some for any number of downstairs maids, was stabbed to death.  While no one was ever charged, it was always assumed in my family (and with a gypsy shrug, I might add) that my tiny but paprika-blooded grandmother was something considerably more than a “person of interest.”

  16. George Thomas Clark 10:55am, 05/30/2014

    Irish, CG, and Others - Regarding the tragic Lupe Velez, we should note she was not merely Herculean in the sack, she was a tiger everywhere else and, after breaking up with one of her hundreds of boyfriends, the cowboy character actor Guinn “Big Boy” Williams, lovely Lupe cursed as she ripped apart and smashed the photo of her former beau, and then urinated on it.  The veracity of this story, given us by the noted saint Errol Flynn, is strengthened by the probably-bipolar Lupe’s decision to kill herself at age 37 and while pregnant.  A beautiful but disturbed woman, and an arch enemy of the more talented Mexican beauty Dolores Del Rio.

  17. Pete The Sneak 10:52am, 05/30/2014

    @Irish Frankie…Whew! You had us worried there for a minute…Peace..

  18. Irish Frankie Crawford Beat Saijo aka Gimpel 10:34am, 05/30/2014

    George Thomas Clark-This article was entertaining, titillating and provoked a lot of impure thoughts on my part….but pretty is as pretty does…..I say that Clarence George’s Champion Lupe Velez fit that bill to a T!

  19. George Thomas Clark 10:01am, 05/30/2014

    Pete - The silence of Irish is indeed perplexing, and perhaps frightening, but is probably attributable to his close professional (pugilistic) relationship with both women.

  20. Pete The Sneak 09:57am, 05/30/2014

    GTC…What concerns me most about this article is that here you have a great write up about two sexy sirens of yore (ensuring their is an obvious Boxing angle to the story as well) and I haven’t seen one comment from Irish Frankie on this thread. What gives?? Hope he;s OK…Peace.

  21. Thresher 08:00am, 05/30/2014

    Any guy named Franco you gotta listen to

  22. Franco Giovanni 07:31am, 05/30/2014

    1.Sophia Loren
    2. Gina Lollobrigida
    3. Virna Lisi

    Bellissima. Very tough match between top 2, could go either way. Ciao.

  23. Thresher 07:08am, 05/30/2014

    Yes. I have finally reached historian stature.

  24. Clarence George 06:58am, 05/30/2014

    Good research, but the only sizzler on that list is Maria Grazia Cucinotta.  And nary a mention of Kaye Ballard!

  25. Thresher 06:47am, 05/30/2014

    http://www.imdb.com/list/IuczwShcFfQ/

  26. Eric 06:39pm, 05/29/2014

    1950-1970 Golden Era for this sort of thingy. They don’t make’em like that anymore. The starlets of today are sexy in a stripper sort of way and can’t hold a candle to these hotties from the past. You have to wonder what kind of crap a lot these women had to endure though, can’t help but think of how tragic a figure Marilyn Monroe was, really sad story.

  27. Clarence George 06:18pm, 05/29/2014

    By the way, since we’re referencing rather obscure Italian sexpots…Marilu Tolo and Agostina Belli.

  28. Clarence George 05:53pm, 05/29/2014

    GTC:  I agree.  Plastic surgery for narcissistic purposes is almost always a terrible mistake.

  29. Latin From Manhattan 04:09pm, 05/29/2014

    I remember seeing Antonelli in the move, “Till Marriage Do Us Part” on HBO as a hormone driven teenager in 1980. That was old school porn for punks back then.

  30. thresher 04:00pm, 05/29/2014

    Virna Lisi, Claudia Cardinale, Monica Vitti, and Laura Antonelli warrant mention as possible pugilistas.

  31. THRESHER 03:55pm, 05/29/2014

    Apollo, how very politically correct of you. LMFAO

  32. Apollo Creed 03:49pm, 05/29/2014

    Dem Italian babes are HOT aren’t they?  And the best part, if they can’t fight, I bet they can cook. Gina Lollobrigida, another Latin babe.

  33. Thresher 03:21pm, 05/29/2014

    Is Silvana Mangano, in the mix?

  34. George Thomas Clark 02:52pm, 05/29/2014

    CG - I think exercise, diet, rest, and avoiding the sun, combined with light (realistic) surgery, would yield a better result for someone 80 who generally looks strange rather than better after undergoing sharp knives.

  35. Clarence George 02:49pm, 05/29/2014

    Well, she is almost 80…

    You’re not wrong about Grant, GTC, but many of his performances turned me off.  He was often histrionic, which he confused with being funny.  “Arsenic and Old Lace” is a case in point.

  36. George Thomas Clark 02:43pm, 05/29/2014

    CG - Wish you hadn’t told me about Dyan - just checked Google Images and she’s had mega-plastic surgery multiple times… But, yes, she was a beauty…

    Father Goose was about the end of the line for Cary, but he had an extraordinary career - one of the greatest in film history - and will forever offer Suspicion, Notorious, North by Northwest, and other superb movies..

  37. Clarence George 02:34pm, 05/29/2014

    GTC:  Let me know your thoughts on the movie, if you ever see it.  In my opinion, it’s tripe marinated in treacle.  “Father Goose” is another bad one, despite Leslie Caron’s beauty and the presence of the great Trevor Howard.  As for Dyan Cannon—age has finally caught up with her, but she was remarkably sexy even up until around 15 years ago.

  38. George Thomas Clark 01:46pm, 05/29/2014

    CG - It was during the filming of “Houseboat,” which I haven’t seen, that Cary was smitten by Sophia.  But he exhibited some of the insecurity and paranoia that he had in his first marriage, in the 1920s, as well as in his final marriage, to Dyan Cannon, in the 1960s.  Hard to imagine a guy like that being obsessive and insecure, but such matters are determined by brain chemistry rather than physical and creative attributes.  Sophia went for the more stable guy, and a fellow Neapolitan. 

    And, of course, when I was about 20 I dated the 38-year-old Sophia (don’t I wish).

  39. Clarence George 01:41pm, 05/29/2014

    In the interests of fair play, I should mention that a movie Cary Grant made with Sophia is at least as unwatchable as the one he did with Jayne—“Houseboat.”  Ugh!

  40. Eric 01:19pm, 05/29/2014

    Raquel Welch still looks attractive even at 73-74 years old. Probably a great deal of maintenance work, but you can only do so much. Loren and Welch aged better than any two Hollywood sex symbols that I can think of, at least off the cuff. Raquel TKO in 10 over Loren. Tough battle, but the iconic Welch is a true GOAT.

  41. George Thomas Clark 01:12pm, 05/29/2014

    To appreciate the real difference between Loren and Mansfield, in addition to their aforementioned pugilistic abilities, watch “Sunflowers,” a 1970 film starring Sophia as a widow who goes into post-World War II Russia to look for her missing husband.  She had beauty plus great acting ability (in Italian).  Sunflowers can be video streamed on Netflix…

  42. Clarence George 12:56pm, 05/29/2014

    My list of Top 10 Lovelies jiggles, er, fluctuates, but Jayne Mansfield is always in first place.  Her autograph, framed alongside a particularly appetizing photo, used to grace my wall.  It now resides in my closet, due to the vigorous and unmistakably Italianate disapproval of She Who Must Be Obeyed.

    Not shown in the iconic photo above, sitting next to Jayne, is Clifton Webb.  Clifton Webb?!  Of all the men in Hollywood…

    As for Cary Grant (not one of my favorites), he and Jayne appeared together in “Kiss Them for Me,” a truly awful film, in which Grant gives the worst performance of his career.

    Anyway, GTC’s memory is faulty.  I, too, was present at this doxy donnybrook, and well recall that it quickly degenerated into a wrestling match, complete with strapless heels flying off toothsome tootsies and diaphanous gowns rendered rags, until both sexy pot pies rolled into a vat of simmering goulash.  Rushing forward, I gently pressed an immaculately shined patent leather shoe atop Sophia’s head, thus submerging her beneath the paprika waves.  With admirable coordination, I simultaneously lifted Jayne by her smooth as silk and now slathered with goulash armpits.  “My hero!” she cried.  “Well…” I demurred, with characteristic modesty.  “Take me here, now, and in unspeakable ways,” she insisted…

    Gentlemen, the rest of the story is indeed available, but I do quite reasonably request a heartfelt pourboire.

  43. Eric 12:15pm, 05/29/2014

    Ouch. Not going near that one.

  44. Thresher 11:56am, 05/29/2014

    Mansfield lost her head in this one.

  45. Eric 10:27am, 05/29/2014

    Loren in black corset video. Nice. Next up, Loren vs. Raquel Welch in a title elimination match.

  46. thresher 09:43am, 05/29/2014

    Loren in blow out!

  47. Eric 09:30am, 05/29/2014

    Mansfield = a poor man’s Monroe. Loren = SEXY. This just proves that women dress for other women instead of men. Loren looks like she has a bad case of booby envy, and sort of has a Mooseshell Obama like hateful look on her face. Then again,  Mansfield was the female equivalent of John Holmes, or that F-Troop dude, Forrest Tucker. Loren’s chest is just fine, Mansfield’s a little on the large side for me. No contest, Loren over Mansfield any day. TKO in 5 win for Loren in the who is the sexiest department.

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