Magno’s Pound-for-Pound Top 10

By Paul Magno on January 2, 2018
Magno’s Pound-for-Pound Top 10
Duran grows a third arm on his chest. It develops the raw physical strength of twelve men.

Some dig deep into magic fairyland and somehow manage to rank fighters based on the idea of who would beat who—if they all were the same weight…

Who’s on my pound-for-pound list?”

I get this question a lot—way too much, actually—and I’m always at a loss when it comes to how to answer it because, honestly, I don’t even know what the hell pound-for-pound is even supposed to mean.

Some people see it as a “who are the most skilled fighters” list. Some see it as a “who’s the most accomplished” list. Some fancy it as a “who beats who’s ass” list. Some dig deep into magic fairyland and somehow manage to rank fighters based on the idea of who would beat who—if they all were the same weight.

Nobody has a real answer as to what, really, determines a pound-for-pound list or by what criteria we’re supposed to rank these guys. Yet, despite the pure subjectivity involved in making one’s own personal list, almost nothing generates more online arguments than “pound-for-pound.”

But, as someone never afraid to dip his big toe into the abyss or engage in a heated exchange over totally pointless fluff, I’m gonna take a stab at putting together my very own, extra awesome pound-for-pound list. Remember, though, that despite all of the long hours I put into putting together this absolutely rad list of greatness, these things are, ultimately, subjective. Feel free to move these names one or two spaces up or down on the list, depending on your own personal p4p criteria.

10. Giant-Sized Finito Lopez

Ricardo “Finito” Lopez, blasted with a growth ray. 7’8’’, 325 lbs. of Beristain-honed greatness. ‘Nuff said.

9. Road Warriors, 1985

Hawk and Animal, in their primes, rushing the ring to Black Sabbath’s “Iron Man.” No way Andre Ward stands up to that!

8. Steve Buscemi

Whether he’s playing a tough guy or a funny guy, Buscemi always delivers. Extra points given for his role as the crazy homeless guy in Big Daddy.

7. Cyborg Pernell Whitaker

What if Pernell Whitaker’s torso was replaced with armed robot gear and his right arm was re-worked into a robo-cannon. That would be sweet (pea).

6. ‘85 Super Bowl Chicago Bears

Hey, Vasyl Lomachenko, what’re you gonna do when you see Dent, Hampton, McMichael, and Singletary rushing up on you?

5. Samantha Kumiko

My favorite Corona Ring Card Girl…Hey, Samantha, if you’re reading this, ‘sup? (paulmagno@theboxingtribune.com)

4. Me

‘Cuz I’m f*ckin’ awesome. Plus, if I kept my heavyweight frame, yet added strawweight speed, I’d be unstoppable at the gym.

3. Shrunken Sonny Liston

Blasted with a shrink ray, yet somehow allowed to keep his raw physical strength, a 5’ 3’’, 108 lb. Liston would be the greatest junior flyweight to ever lace up the gloves—by far.

2. Chicago Cubs, 2016 World Series Champions

Rizzo, Bryant, Arrieta, Lester, Baez, etc…their awesomeness would totally translate to the boxing ring—and given the vague, subjective criteria used in making pound-for-pound lists, who says that it can’t?

1. Mutated, Three-Armed Roberto Duran

Duran, exposed to toxic waste, grows a third arm right on his chest and develops the raw physical strength of twelve men. He would be unstoppable at any weight—the very definition of pound-for-pound best!

So, there you have it. The long-awaited Magno pound-for-pound list, treated with as keen an eye and as serious a mental once-over as any other list out there.

C’mon fight fans, let the debates begin! (Debates=Clicks=Me calling myself an expert=$$$=A gloriously lavish first date with Samantha Kumiko)

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  1. Sam Young 12:47pm, 01/06/2018

    Hey Paul Magno I always thought you were Retarded and with this article you proved me right.

  2. Pete The Sneak 10:38am, 01/04/2018

    Pretty cool drawing of Duran there Paul, who sketched it?...Peace.

  3. Lucas McCain 04:49am, 01/04/2018

    So much of sports is mental doodling (“fantasy football?”) that you can just shrug it off when it comes your way.  It’s a marketing ploy, or a column filler—harmless unless it contains pesticides.

  4. Koolz 03:17pm, 01/03/2018

    That was a good Paul Magno!! 
    But damn I love Duran!
    There are just to many damn good fighters right now in multiple divisions.

    GGG Godzilla would have to do something really amazing this year!

  5. Andre Roussimoff 12:16pm, 01/03/2018

    I stand corrected….I think! Moreover, I apologize for referring to you as an asshat and an old fart….no more ad hominem comments from Andre in the New Year…..still….CNN has reported that both the Corona and Tecate ring girls have teenagers in their ranks! Samantha looks like a teenager to me….Helen Mirren is more my type.

  6. Paul Magno 10:31am, 01/03/2018

    ...and what was the point of this “stupid and pointless” article?  Maybe to point out just how stupid and pointless pound-for-pound lists are….

  7. Paul Magno 10:28am, 01/03/2018

    Hey, Andre, Samantha Kumiko is 29…asshat….and who says I’m an “old fart?”

  8. didier 09:28am, 01/03/2018

    Stupid and useless article

  9. Andre Roussimoff 08:33am, 01/03/2018

    Samantha Kumiko is 18 years old! If old farts like you are turned on by 18 year olds why not 16 and if you’re turned on by 16 why not 14…..and on and on…see how that works asshat?! This wack job of a list does serve at least one purpose….it shows that physicality is every bit as important in this “sport” as in others where it is blatantly obvious like basketball!

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